Trouble Shooting Love 

What is Love?

  Love is a binding force that imposes itself upon us, which we are free to accept or reject.  True love does not demand conditions or a return, but does look for a free response.

Our Response to love, determines how the love relationship will develop.

Love is Best Described by what it Does, rather than what it Is.

As Scripture tells us, Love is Patient, Kind and has no Limits.

Love that is controlling, is not love, but merely an extension of the Lover's ego, and runs the risk of generating rejection and/or contempt in the Beloved.

Can We Avoid love?

We are required to love and be loved.  This is the very nature of being alive.  Without this, we can scarcely live.

What effect can Love have on us?

Love can wound our  hearts  both painfully and wonderfully, to the point that the Lover can only think of the Beloved.  Carnal or Romantic Love will fade with time, but true love never fades.

How do we handle unrequited love?

True love puts up with every kind of inconvenience.  Burdens are transformed from pain to joy.  Having said this, unrequited love is the most difficult form of love to deal with.

If we are looking for some kind of return on our Love, this implies a shortcoming in our love.

We learn love from those who love us, which can include our relatives and those for whom we work.  It is difficult to love when we have no model to see how "Love Works".

The ideal model of Love, is Our Lord, who loves us, no matter how we respond.

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 Love may appear to increase or decrease on its own, without our knowing how; God, who is all love, may choose to increase that love.

Also see Pope Benedict XVI's Deus Caritas Est.  Pure love, which enjoys response, demands no response or conditions.

  If we are fed up with something or someone, What does that mean?

  It means our love has fallen short.  Better communication between individuals may or may not help.  To resolve this condition of frustration, we must go back to the source of Love, which is God. 

  True love overcomes all difficulties!

Is True Love, Tough Love?

While true love is kind, generous, and tender, it is also power.  Power to help the other person to walk the walk, they are called to walk, and brooks no nonsense. 

A Lover, who can not stand up to the Beloved, when necessary, is not loving, but is abusing the Beloved.

One must be re-born to experience true love.

Unless one has been set free from life's controls, it is not possible to experience the surrender of true love.

Is True Love Forever?

Since true love is outside of time and space, it will last forever.  There is nothing in Love, that can decay.  Love, however,  that is only romantic or carnal, will fade with time and separation.

What about Heartbreak?

Heartbreak is caused by separation from the Beloved.  Since Love is outside of time and space, it will live forever, and is not diminished by separation.  The pain associated with heartbreak is caused by the tearing of the senses that are subject to time and space.

Can Love turn to Hate or even Contempt?

Hate and Contempt are nothing more than frustrated Love, and point to shortcomings in the Lover, not the object of this love.

What happens to Love in Marriage?

Love in marriage that is not nourished through individual and mutual prayer, can die, having lost touch with the source of love.

What Can Destroy Love?

Sin Destroys Love

  Unforgiven Sin and deceit can destroy Love. It breaks our relationship with God and the Church, while it hardens our hearts.